The Epic Scheme to Get Rich Quick
by The Little House Scribe
Summary: If you try to kidnap Ginny Weasley, you're going to have a bad time. The same holds true if you try if you try to kidnap Ginny Potter, albeit on a scale greatly magnified. When will villains ever learn?


Harry Potter was minding his own business, doing Auror paperwork, when Ron Weasley burst in, his face the off-putting colour of bad oatmeal. Harry correctly guessed that something was wrong.

"It's Ginny."

There are two words which can always be relied upon to evoke a strong emotional response from Harry. And those are it.

Harry vaulted over his desk as Ron began to read from a letter.

"Dearest Ronnie,

I have your sister. If you do not give me the sum of a billion gazillion galleons, you will have your sister. Your sister will not have life.

Yours Sincerely.

The soon to be rich guy."

"It could be some sort of sick joke." Harry ventured.

"PS: If you think this some sort of sick joke, cast the spell described in the inserted sheet of paper. It will give us visual and auditory contact and then we'll see whose laughing." Ron finished reading.

"Why would he send the ransom demand to me?" Ron wondered.

"Because he knew that I'd kill him if he sent it straight to me." Harry growled in all seriousness.

At that moment, Hermione burst into the room, Ron having sent a memo to her office in the DMLE.

After Ron explained the situation, Hermione declared the spell legitimate and performed it.

An unfamiliar, yet ugly face greeted them.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen." Hermione gritted her teeth at that insult.

Ron stepped forward to speak with the man whilst Harry glanced at every place he could see. It appeared that it was an old industrial sized barn, with the man sitting on a chair on the second level and Ginny, mostly obscured, tied to a wooden post on the ground level. Harry observed at least five other men and two women walking around in the background.

"Never let it be said that I am heartless." Said the leader of the abductors. "I shall let a wife say her last words to her husband."

He skipped down the wooden steps and walked over to Ginny, as Ron stepped aside to allow Harry to speak with Ginny, who looked uncomfortable and a little bored, but when she saw Harry she brightened and gave him one of her brilliant smiles.

"Alright then, last words." The man pushed his wand into Ginny's neck, and Ginny stopped smiling, and then waited for a few seconds, weighing up what she was going to say.

"Don't forget to put the roast in the oven, dear." Ginny said with a cheeky grin.

No one knew what to say, but Ron understood what she meant. Food was not a matter of life and death, it was far more important than that.

Having gotten back to his seat on the second level, the villainous rogue addressed Harry again.

"Now, listen carefully, I want you to place a billion gazillion…"

"What kind of number is a billion gazillion?" Hermione interrupted warpishly.

The man looked embarrassed for a moment, then turned to one of his confederates and they spoke in low voices. Ron, meanwhile, began gathering Aurors and informing them of a hostage situation.

In the background though, all was not peaceful. Ginny, try as she might, could not unrestrain herself. So, with her hands tied behind her back around the post, she ripped it out of the ground.

The two men closest to her were knocked out by the swinging post. A woman and another man charged at Ginny, but she kicked him in the solar plexus and deftly sidestepped the woman's lunge and knocked her to the ground, where she hit her head on the dirty concrete floor and did not rise.

It was then that it occurred to the last two men that they were wizards and could use wands, which they used to cast disarming charms. Ducking out of the way of the streams of scarlet light, Ginny observed, astounded as they disarmed each other and their wands had flown over her head in graceful arcs, only to hit each the castors in the eyes, who fell down clutching their faces and squealing in pain.

With the advantage of the high ground and having the sense and wisdom brought on by a position of leadership, the rogue seated on the second level aimed and fired his blasting hex at Ginny, who spun around and allowed it to smashed into the wooden, shattering it into millions of splintered shards.

The people watching in the Auror office let out a gasp of relief as this occurred. Hermione continued to work feverishly to see if she could locate where Ginny was being held.

Ginny leapt into the air and grabbed onto the wooden planks of the second level, and grabbed the leg of the last man standing and pulled strongly, hanging onto the second level with one hand. The man struggled to keep his balance and aim a spell at her, but multi-tasking wasn't a talent he possessed. He smashed through the wooden balcony and landed on a part of the floor which was made up of floorboards.

Ginny pulled herself up and grinned at the last remaining woman, cowering in a corner.

"Belay that last order." Ron said to the gathered Aurors and Hit Wizards. "We no longer have a hostage situation. Prepare for a rescue mission."

The last lady stood, her hand shaking as she tried to point her wand at Ginny's face.

Ginny just smirked, held on with both hands and kicked the floorboard under the woman's feet, sending her sailing through the air and straight into a conveniently placed hay bale.

Ginny pulled herself up onto the second level, grabbed her wand and summoned all of the enemies' wands, before casting a spell to find out her coordinates, and transmitting it to Harry via a Patronus, and dusting herself off, proclaiming. "That was fun."

Harry and Ron apparated in a moment later.

"Hmm…Looks like they're all still alive." Ron said, in a tone that clearly showed that, to him, it didn't really matter. "How did it-" Ron began to ask Ginny, but stopped short as Harry and Ginny's faces were otherwise occupied.

"See what I have to live with." Ron gestured to the slightly embarrassed Aurors who were shuffling out of Harry's office, while Hermione was beaming with happiness.

"I have to do all the work." Ron grumbled as he arrested the abductors, whilst his best mate and sister pushed their lung capacity to the limit. Then he remembered something. "Hey Ginny. Did you say we're having roast tonight?"

EPILOGUE.

A few minutes later, reports came in from witnesses who saw Ginny kidnapped as she was speaking with children when she was leaving the Holyhead Harpies training ground. The kidnappers served lengthy terms in Azkaban, and despite Hermione's insistence that Harry and Ginny should be left alone on that night, Ron invited himself over and ate the majority of the roast.

They were all unaware that George had snuck into the Potters' residence and spiked it with a potion which made you randomly burst into song.


End file.
